El Blues del Síndrome PreMenstrual

Paseando por YouTube, uno a veces se encuentra con inesperadas perlas de sabiduría y humor. En este caso, a manos de la sublime Dolly Parton, a quien servidora admira desde años ha, que nos escribe esta canción, argumentando en la misma que "una mujer tenía que escribir esta canción; un hombre tendría miedo de hacerlo, no fuera a ser llamado machista".

Eve, you wicked woman
you done put your curse on me
Why didn't you just leave that apple
hangin' in the tree

You make us hate our husbands
our lovers and our boss
Why, I can't even count the good friends
I've already lost

'Cause of PMS blues
PMS blues

I don't even like myself
but it's something I can't help
Got those God-almighty
slap-somebody
PMS blues

Most times I'm easy goin'
some say I'm good as gold
But when I'm PMS I tell you
I turn mean and cold

Those not afflicted with it
are affected just the same
You poor old man didn't have to grin
and say "I feel your pain"

But what else ya going to say?
PMS blues, PMS blues

You know you must forgive us
'cause we care not what we do
I got those can't-stop-crying
dishes-flying

PMS blues

But you know we can't help it
We don't even know the cause
But as soon as this part's over
then comes the menopause

Oh, Lord
Oh, Lord

We're going to always be a heap of fun
Like the Devil taking over my body
Suffering, suffering, suffering
Everybody's suffering, huh?

But a woman had to write this song
a man would be scared to
Lest he be called a chauvinist
or just fall victim to those

PMS blues
You know we'd kill for less than that
PMS blues

You don't want to cross my path
Cause a pitbull ain't no match
For these teeth-a-clenchin'
fluid-retention
Head-a-swellin'
can't-stop-yellin'
Got-no-patience
I'm-so-hateful

PMS blues
premenstrual syndrome

Got those moods-a-swingin'
tears a-slingin'
Nothin'-fits-me-
when-it-hits-me
Rantin', ravin'
misbehavin'

PMS blues

Can you witness?
You women wanna witness?
Tell it sisters, tell it sisters
As only we know how.
You men wanna witness?
Tell it brothers, tell it
'cause we sure know what I'm talking about
You little kids, you wanna witness?
You wanna tell us about that mean old devil momma of yours?
I said the kids, you mommas stay out of this
You've done enough to them kids already
Come on kids, you witness, you're safe, don't be afraid, darlin'
It's the only time in my life I ever think about wishing I'd been a man
But you know that only means one thing
If I'd have been a man, I'd be somewhere right this very minute
With some old cranky, naggin', raggin' hateful woman

With those old
PMS blues
PMS blues

I don't want to talk about it
We both could do without it
Got those treat-your-kids-bad
Don't-you-talk-back
Gone-ballistic
Unrealistic
Awful-lowdown
Bitch-to-be-around

PMS blues

Oh, what are you looking at!